Thursday, February 12, 2015

Awkward Mom vs. Just Thursday

Dearest Daring Darlings-

So, it's just Thursday. It's isn't anyone's birthday and it isn't a holiday. It's not even an exciting day, like Saturday. It's just a day. A day in February; so deep in winter that we've started to long for spring but know it's still a long way off. Nothing unusual happened today, nothing particularly noteworthy. Nothing to report to Daddy when he gets home. Just boring old life in the middle of February 2015.

You built this amazing Lego house to welcome your friend who was coming over, the one you were deeply sensitive to and allowed to lead the play, even though you had about 899 ideas about how things should go. I was so proud of you and your gentle leadership today.

You had school today and celebrated Valentine's Day, so you came home with a sack full of candy. A sack that you proceeded to divide 4 ways, so all your siblings could enjoy your bounty. I was so proud of you and your seamless generosity today. (Thanks also for being flexible and understanding that Nerds might not be the best choice of treat for the baby.)

You ran errands with me today and rode the grocery store horse, like you have done every day since you noticed her existence. You climb up there like the seasoned horsewoman you are, settle in, and gallop off on imagined journeys across the plains. Journeys that you shout to any passerby; causing numerous smiles and chuckles, especially in the grandparents that you randomly blow kisses at. I was so proud of you and your fearless friendliness today.

You climbed the stairs today. You tried to eat several toys, you tirelessly trailed your siblings through the house, and you were stepped on 4 times. And you said "mama" just once, but it was enough to melt me into a puddle of love. I was so proud of you and your endless composure in the face of a world that is too tall and not built for your comfort or ease.

There will be more exciting days. There will be warmer days. There will be more noteworthy days, with a flurry of things to report to Daddy when he gets home. And yet, when I am old and gray, walking through the store by myself, with no one to chase, and I see a young mom with her children, I'll think of you. And I probably won't think about your weddings or your graduations or the day you lost your first teeth. I won't remember some important day in June or October when the weather was perfect. I'll remember this quiet day in cold mid-February when nothing much happened. I'll think of how beautiful it was to take for granted that you would fill my day, my life, and my heart to bursting. How beautiful it is to be your mother and to get to watch the unfolding of your souls. And, while it happens everyday, sometimes it takes a just Thursday to finally notice it. Notice it and burst into tears at the sheer beauty of getting so many just Thursdays with you.

I love you, on the important Saturdays and the just Thursdays.
Awkward Mom


  1. Ah, that last paragraph! I'm all choked up . . . The just Thursdays really are where it's at.

    1. They are where it's at! And where I cry. a lot.