Nah. They'll figure it out.
So, here we are; Earth's in trouble and it's time to come together, alien-invasion-style! It's pretty Walking Dead out there; full of factions and showers totally optional. Not exactly what I pictured for our response to a global threat. I mean, I thought I would at least get a super suit. Maybe a trip to Stark Tower. A scrappy team of odd-balls with a variety of skills and hearts of gold. Oh, wait, I have that last one!
Best Alien-Invasion-Suits Target had in stock.
I have documented my endless battles with the evil Should twins before, so I won't bore you. You know them; sometimes they like to show up with their buddies Regret, What-If, Expectations, Why-Haven't-You-Already, Societal-Pressure, Instagram-Envy, Everyone-Knows-What-They-Are-Doing-But-Me, Comparison, and Over-Thinking. But they are perfectly capable of ruining your day by themselves. Mind you, they aren't BIG EVENT villains, like Thanos, My-Baby-Is-Starting-College, Potty Training. No, these are low-level thugs that you battle back daily; Copperhead, Cobra Command, that guy that killed Uncle Ben, 12-year-olds who like to slam doors, Laundry. You know, everyday villains. I guess I just figured that these aren't everydays, so why am I dealing with everyday AND pandemic villains?
Pandemic Should and Shouldn't go something like this: Morning, Erin, it's kinda late, you really Should get up. And you probably Shouldn't have let the kids stay up late playing video games. You really Should keep an eye on screentimes; even though it is Pandemic Summer, the summer slide is probably gonna be extra worse this year. Maybe you Should develop a homeschooling system, you won't be any good at it, of course because you haven't done it before (oh, Good Morning, Regret, come on in!) but you Should do it anyway because all the good moms are doing it, according to Facebook. Oh, and you Should really get some Essential Oils. Good job brushing your teeth, Erin, but your flossing Should be better than that. Wake up the children, they Shouldn't sleep in, but maybe they Should because you let them stay up and they don't really have anything to look forward to because everything is cancelled and you aren't creative enough to create your own camps and magical summer activities. That would be true in a normal year, but it is extra damaging this year because of Pandemic and their mental health is bad and you haven't really been focusing on that, now have you? You Should make the bed, Erin. Shouldn't let standards slide, just because we are stuck in the house and we don't see anyone and your social skills have all but disappeared and you were so weird at the drive-up window at the bank yesterday that the poor clerk totally thought you were flirting with him and was probably totally disgusted at the thought because you are old and out of shape and hey, where are you going? Mindless scrolling through Instagram isn't gonna help matters, in fact, look at her house, why isn't your house that pretty? If she can make her house look that nice in the middle of Pandemic, while homeschooling 3 children and raising 14 chickens, certainly you can do the dishes, right?
And on and on. Until bedtime, but not really because the children don't really go to bed anyway, rather just collapse, clutching Switch controllers and candy, and you Should clean them and move them to bed but they are sticky and if you have to touch one more sticky thing today you are going to scream and wake them up again, so you leave them where they fall and you go upstairs to lie in bed and stare at your phone, knowing you Shouldn't, but you don't want to think. Anything. Anything at all, just to not have to think.
And this is all pretty standard for normal July weekdays but these aren't normal standard July weekdays and if I have to make masks and decide about school plans and worry about my grandmother and sanitize everything and online-navigate systemic racism responses and Covid deniers and basically live with a permanent stress-ball lodged in my chest at all times, why the hell do I have to fight with Should and Shouldn't?! And they seem stronger than usual. Does Covid enhance them? Like the Goblin Serum?! Crap.
Here's the thing; the movies only show you part of the Alien Invasion; the rousing inspiring part where the President gives a speech and Randy Quaid flies into a spaceship (um...spoiler). They don't have time or plot reasons or any financial incentive to tell you everything, and I have plenty of questions, the least of which is why the heck would an advanced culture that can develop crazy cool technology and navigate space come to a planet that is 71% water if water is deadly to them....Also, who is gonna clean up this mess? How do we raise children during this? Do the aliens care if my dishes are clean? How long is this gonna take? If we aren't returning to normal after this anyway, can we just change the national currency to cheese? Who is in charge? Why does it feel like no one is in charge? Why are you all arguing? Am I going to mutate? And follow-up to that, can I request a cool mutation and not one of the Morlock-ones? Who do I see about that?
Now, replace aliens with pandemic. (And ignore my cheese and mutation fixations if you can.) This is not a place for Should or Shouldn't. No where is, but this is really not a place for them, especially supercharged mutated them. (Sorry, I really like the X-men...) They are gonna keep showing up, that's what they do, but maybe we don't have to invite them in. Shoulds are like Vampires, they can't come in unless you let them. So grab the garlic and your strongest affirmation because they are gonna try to get you to let them in.
Don't. Don't. Just don't. Not shouldn't or maybe or can't or any of those. This is a DON'T situation. This is an alien invasion and we need you to focus. You are so capable of this DON'T. Please stop listening to Should and his sister; you are surviving a PANDEMIC and that is all you have to do. No shoulds about it.
Oh! Can I have that mutation where I control plants? That one would be cool...
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