Monday, February 20, 2012

Awkward Mom vs. Bodily Fluids

Yes, it is gross.

Sigh. We here in the land of Awkward are fighting a battle on 2 fronts and it is wearing out our troops:

The entire Awkward family continues to battle their yearly visit from Cold-of-Death. He always seems to strike during the February Blahs. I am starting to think Cold-of-Death vacations here every February with his whole family; Running-Nose, Hacking-Cough, Plugged-Ears. Even Aunt Intestinal-Discomfort and Uncle Cold-Sweats join the party for the annual sojourn at the Awkward house. It's going on week three over here and I am starting to wonder just how much vacation time Cold-of-Death gets a year...

Just to make things interesting, we decide to add Super Perschooler's potty training in on top of things. Just a jam-packed vacation for Cold-of-Death over here. Kinda like going to Hawaii and instead of lounging on the beaches, we are hiking up to volcanoes...or more accurately, jumping in them. You know, just hanging out with colds being a vacation in Hawaii and volcanoes being potties, and you know, I think I may have lost control of this analogy.

Anyway, to answer your unasked question, yes, Super Preschooler is a little old for potty training. You must be keeping up with your BabyCenter emails! He has flat out refused any and every attempt at potty training since we started a year and a half ago. For a year, he has been telling us that he will do it when he turns 4. Well, he had his 4th birthday party this Saturday. (The fact that he isn't really 4 until next Sunday and we had the party early because of a bunch of complicated reasons I don't need to bore you with is irrelevant.) He had cake. He got gifts. He thinks he is 4, so we are forced to go with it.

The drama (and unpleasant bodily fluids) going on in this house are not for the weak of heart and I am too close to the situation to creatively and humorously convey them to you. (creatively convey dramatic bodily fluids....ummmm, gross, just gross.) Potty training is one of those parenting areas that can fill hundreds of books, tons of babycenter threads, dozens of Freudian theories; everyone has an opinion or method. But the truth is, as so clearly evidenced by Super Preschooler and his will of iron, every child is different. Every child comes to these major milestones, these tremendous transitions in his or her own time, from his or her own path. I would be lying if I said that it was not frustrating that he is so independent and unrepentant on this issue. That he won't just do it. That he doesn't seem to want to do it. That I have to fake smile and fake interest when well-meaning moms who notice his diaper offer advice. Like I haven't already tried it. Like I haven't already tried it all. That I am terrified other kids won't want to be his friend. That I am terrified other moms won't want to be my friend. That this is going to be one more area of failure and delay that I can review at night when I can't sleep and can't find anything better to do than beat myself up for my terrible parenting. It can hard to be the mom of a late bloomer in a society that praises the fast, the quick, the early ones.

But then that little late bloom comes in here while I am writing this and hugs me and says he loves me.

He did, I am not making this up. I was gonna go on for awhile yet about society and patience and stress and blah blah blah but I think I will stop complaining now. What on earth is hard about being his mom again? That hug made me lose my train of thought, but I am pretty sure it wasn't a train I needed to catch anyway.

We'll let Awkward Mom mop up her tears. And a few other fluids that they are dealing with over there. Hey, we never said this blog was ick free! Parenting sure isn' ya, Readers! The next post should be a little less moist.....ummmm gross....yes, we promise there will be less "fluids" around here next time! See ya soon!

While the rest of the Awkward family takes on Cold-of-Death, Super Baby has a battle of her own to deal with.....the villainous Red Balloon!

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