Thursday, February 27, 2014

Awkward Mom vs. Marriage

As with any post that heavily involves Awkward Dad, this is gonna get nerdtastic super fast. Just warning you now.....

I have waxed poetic on the risks of super-hero-dating in the past, so I won't bore you. Basically, you need to remember 5 things:

1. Your dates will NOT be boring. Someone is sure to need saving while you are on your romantic stroll through Central Park and before you know it, you are somehow flying to Latveria so your honey can deal with someone named the Marquis of Death. In these situations it is always good to have your own interests. Take time to sight-see; I hear Latveria is lovely in the fall and the Doom's Day festivals are a sight to behold.

2. If you are both superheros and you are both on the Avengers, it might be best not to hook up. Because that is gonna be one very awkward breakfast in Stark Tower. Just have incredible and unspoken sexual tension; it's better for readership anyway.

3. Your honey probably has his/her suit on under their clothes. At all times. Might wanna factor this in when pondering "romantic" moments. Latex is kinda hard to just slip on and off, you know? Look here, we are all adults, so I am not gonna spell it out. Just factor in some extra time, OK?

4. Your honey's super villain is going to find out about you. They are usually super evil geniuses or have a million henchmen, so you are not gonna keep this relationship on the down low for long. And this super villain is gonna come after you, there is no question here. It is just a matter of how. You have some options. You could break up, citing his/her "job" as the reason. You could get used to being saved at the last moment; not great for your stress levels but good for building trust in your relationship. Or you could take a bath in some radioactive ooze and see if you can develop some powers of your own. I recommend the last one, but I am a modern woman of the world.

5. Just don't date Daredevil. His dating track record is a little death-heavy. If you like angst, you can throw your hat in with Spiderman, but stay away from bridges, OK? I worry about you.

So, just be safe. Or don't date superheroes. Or be a lone wolf; it seems to work for Wolverine. (Unless you count the unrequited love he is clearly in with a currently-dead telepath. Wait. Is Jean still dead? With the X-men, you never really know.) Or date a "civilian," but be aware that, given your superhero status, you will be endangering them all the time. If you can live with that, go ahead.

Or pull an Awkward Mom and find yourself a Foggy.

Here's mine:

He's the one on the left. 
Although, Pikachu is looking mighty fine in this photo. 
I wonder if he has been working out?

If you have been reading this blog for any length of time, you know that Awkward Dad is basically Perfect Dad with a killer sense of humor, the patience of a saint, and little to no taste in spouses. To celebrate Super Baby's 10th day of life outside the womb, here are 10 amazing things about Awkward Dad that make me thank my lucky stars that he married me and not one of the Avengers.

1. His casual decision to have 4 children with me during his medical training and residency. Saying he makes this look easy is the understatement of the year; he makes it look like he actually enjoys it. You know what? I think he does!

2. His decision to feed Super Baby around midnight, every night, and still take Super Kindergartener to school, every day, even though it means losing more sleep. He is even using his lunch to pick up Super K. today because he doesn't want any of us out in the cold.

3. The man is adorable. Seriously, check it out:

That smile. Swoon.

4. He is one of the gentlest, kindest people I know. His patients are so incredibly lucky to have someone who honestly and truly cares about their mental health. One time, I asked Awkward Dad if he preferred the more complex mental health cases. A lot of psychiatrists say that they do because they make better case studies or journal articles or are just more challenging. Awkward Dad said, "No. My patients aren't cases. My patients are people. And people with intense and complex mental health issues are usually in a lot of pain, and all I want for my patients is a decrease in their pain and an increased ability for them to care for themselves and their mental health."

5. The man is crazy smart, but he refuses to traffic in that. Most people who meet us don't find out that he is a doctor for months. He doesn't hide it, but he finds it incredibly boring to talk about his career.

6. The man can, and will, talk about anything. With anyone. The day he met my father, they discussed, in this order, plant genetics, hierarchies in ancient civilizations, the Cubs chances this year (there was much laughter here), the history of salt, the origins of the Polish language, and what movies were good that weekend.

7. He is so so so funny.

8. There is nothing he won't do for his children. And I don't just mean the big stuff, like giving them kidneys or stopping bullets from hitting them. I mean, he is willing to look silly to play with them. He is happy to take them on outings, even though, with 4, this requires the planning and supplies of a moon voyage. He looks happy to be with them, even doing crazy things, like going to Greenfield Village with my Halloween-crazed mother and 3 children dressed in their Star Wars finery....

That's a real smile there, folks. He actually likes all the crazy.

9. His happy willingness to work a very intense, tiring job, and then come home to utter chaos. And there is no "hang-on-I-need-a-minute-to-myself-to-decompress," which would make total and complete sense. No, he just dives into the fray, makes dinner, supervises homework, does bedtime reading, gives baths, and urges me to go take a nap. I am starting to think he might actually be the real Superman, and it is only the lack of Lex Luthor showing up at my door with some nefarious plot that prevents me from totally buying Awkward Dad as the real Clark Kent. He certain is a Super Man.

10. He loves me. Warts and all.

Marriage isn't easy. Superheroes or not, marriage takes work, energy, commitment, and lots and lots of chocolate. However, if you have a Foggy, you have kind of an edge. I have an edge. A sweet, cuddly, warm, funny, wonderful, foggy edge.

And just because I know you want to see the baby, here ya go:

Not totally sure about this awkward place he has arrived in, 
but he does know this:
His father is amazing. 
His mom? 
Well, that is who is making this suspicious face at.....


  1. Your husband is a definite keeper. But after reading your 10 things, I had a suspicion that I have met the guy like this somewhere too (he's not a doctor but everything else matches). It is pretty amazing considering they are a very rare specie...

    And the baby... Don't you just want to kiss these cheeks all the time?? :)

    1. We got some good ones, what can I saw? We are lucky ladies. :)

      I do kiss them all the time. Like all the time. I think that is all I have done for the past week. :)

  2. Yes - Super Dad and all the Super little ones are keepers - as are you, Super Mom. It's a delight to know all of you and to be able to share lots of quality awkward time with you. Love, Awkward Grandma.

    1. Well, hurry up and get here then! :) We can't wait to see you!

  3. Erin, you definitely have a keeper with your husband. I think we both found great men to fit us! :)

    And the baby is adorable!!

    1. Thanks! We got some good ones!

      And yes, I think he is super cute too!