Awkward Mom vs. Screens

We are surrounded by screens. Blinking boxes that demand our attention and, if we're not careful, our souls. Screen is a multiplier villain; he has a ton of clones running around, trying to mess with us. TVs. Computers. Phones. Bombarding us with images that we need to live up to; commercials, perfect Pinterest creations, our frenemy's photos of her trip to Aruba. We start to panic; we suck, our lives suck, everything sucks. The parent stuff is the worst. Everyone seems to have perfect children, but us. Everyone seems to be making kale. Everyone seems to have early readers. Everyone is better. Everyone but us. Envy takes over, or maybe despair. The one that visits me, via Screen, is crippling self-doubt. Screen has many minions that he uses to suck up souls. It's so easy.

But you know what else is easy? Looking to the left of the screen and seeing this:

Or this:

Maybe this:

Ample evidence that you are doing just fine. You wanna know why? Here's why: You maintain life. Life, Readers! You nourish and tend to the very matter that the universe is made of. You are star tenders. You are the guardians of the future. You feed the minds that will rule the planet one day, often watering that fertile soil with your own tears. And you are magnificent gardeners, Readers, because your plants don't just stay alive; they thrive. They grow. They take over like kudzu. The life you maintain is astonishing in grace, power, and ability. And it is that way because of you.

That's easy too, Readers. Just a little shift of your eyes to the left. Or right. Children like to move, so they may be on the right now. Oh wait, they might be back on the left. How are they so fast? What are you feeding this life of yours, Readers? Miracle Grow?

Yes, I realize that it is rather strange to convey this message via Screen. But life, as well as parenting, is messy and inconsistent and awfully awkward, so I am choosing to just go with it. Just going with it has served me pretty well thus far. 

Here's some more evidence we are doing just fine. 

Someone invented a mustache pacifier. 

Genius.