Awkward Mom vs. Jealousy

Jealousy isn't a huge or flashy villain; she's not Bane or Thanos or even Potty Training. This isn't a shoot your whole arsenal at her and walk away looking all cool while everything burns behind you kind of thing. No. Jealousy is a sneaky, low-level, consistent, street thug that you get to tangle with most nights and some days. Exhausting, constant work that may lure you to the dark side and  make you consider a life of crime if you aren't careful. Jealousy is a lot more powerful that she looks. And she looks like this:

Jealousy's side-eye game is hella strong. 

Picture it: I'm dorking around at some school thing, stifling my inner 13-year-old-panic-ball that wants to hide along the wall and think about Star Wars, and I'm actually engaging with semi-strangers. You know how it goes; they have kids in your daughter's class, so you nod to them at pick-up and the Christmas concert but they aren't real people. But they should be and they are and it's a new year so you are up in here trying hard as heck to be normal and talk about Math Splash and the weather but that's boring so your mind drifts and your gaze drops and you start watching this woman's mouth and holy cats she has movie-star-white teeth and knows how to wear lipstick without being gloppy about it and I bet she contours and look at that top it's the perfect neckline between prude and hello here are my boobs and matches her skinny jeans because well of course and how does she have no salt stains on her boots it's January in Iowa we basically live on Crait and I bet she doesn't like Star Wars because she's not a massive dork like you Erin and I guess I hate her.

And suddenly you are in a battle royale with Jealousy when all you wanted to do was think about Star Wars.

It's easy to get lured into a fight with Jealousy. Jealousy comes at you swinging, and you think you are only going to defend yourself; dodging the punches with "I can do this," "no one is perfect," and "OK, I'm good enough" But before you know it, you are in there, wailing on Jealousy's kidneys with "whatever, I just won't show up at this stuff anymore," "bet all that makeup is just hiding her patchy skin," and "she wouldn't like me anyway, she's too stuck up." And then, suddenly, Jealousy blinds you with a right hate-hook because that was her plan the whole time anyway. This analogy might be getting out of hand, the only boxing I know about is what I learned from watching a Mexican telenovela on the subject.

Point is, well, I'm not sure what my point is, except that Jealousy sucks. And I have a funny feeling (that I tend to ignore a lot of the time because it violates my naturally low opinion of myself and who likes actual growth because that -ish is hard and complicated) that other folks have battles with Jealousy while they are talking to me. I know, crazy, right?!

We all struggle with Jealousy; she's a sneaky morphing villain that can adapt to whoever she wants to battle and her favorite trick is the divide and conquer. Jealousy is over there thinking, "Let me convince Erin that she isn't as good as that woman, let me convince this woman that she isn't as good as Erin, then they will never become friends, combine their different yet complimentary skills, form a mighty crime-fighting duo, find more women that are amazing in various ways, grow into a world-saving force of nature, and fix absolutely everything, rendering me pointless and feeble. Can't have that now. Let's focus on how good that woman over there looks in those skinny jeans and sow some discontent."

Let's not. Let's just not. Let's not give in to Jealousy, Sisters. It's what she wants. Let's just ignore her for awhile and see what happens. I bet good things will happen. So, here's what we are gonna do. You wear your skinny jeans, I'll wear my Millennium Falcon tee, and we'll wear the heck out of jealousy, while saving the mother-loving world.

Deal? Deal.