Monday, September 16, 2013

Awkward Mom vs. New Playgroups

Ladies, I am 35-years-old, 3 and 1/2 kids in, and totally over this sh....I mean, squash. 

I just learned 4 new recipes for organic squash. And when I say learned, I mean overheard and promptly forgot because I was having a nice daydream involving Chris O'Dowd. He was saying things to me in his dreamy Irish accent that I guess don't belong in a parenting blog.....Why was I around organic squash? Oh, I wasn't. I was just at a new playgroup. In Ann Arbor.

My friend Excellent Mom invited me along on a stroll through some gardens with a playgroup she was trying out, and I wanted to kinda lurk around the edges and hang out with her. Sadly, the coordinator of said playgroup was a real go-getter, with name-tags and everything, so I got dragged in, out of my comfortable lurk. I am pretty sure that Excellent Mom and I were the only ones with more than 1 kid each, and I am quite sure that ours were the only ones there who have ever experienced refined sugar. It went as you might expect, and we broke off to gossip and take our own stroll in short order. Totally worked out.

I have tried many a playgroup in my time and, besides one that Magna Mom just created with me and 2 other gals so we could eat and watch anime, they don't seem to work out so hot for me. All elbows and awkward pauses and me feeling like a giant loser mom. These days I mostly try to avoid them because things like this happen:

Perfect Mom: Hey, does Super Toddler say mine a lot? Perfect Toddler seems to be going through a very possessive phase.

Me: Good lord, sometimes I think she might be one of the seagulls from Finding Nemo!

Perfect Mom: Is that yes or no? We don't allow TV in our house.

Me: Oh. (deep cleansing breath) Well, yes, she is rather possessive at this stage. I think it is quite normal for a 22 month old child to be possessive; it might be a way for her to assert herself or test limits. Your son is attempting to understand the world around him and his position in it. Given that toddlers have very little control over what happens to them, it stands to reason that they would want to establish some kind of dominance in any available situation, even if it is just about a toy.

Perfect Mom: Yes, that is what I thought.

Me: Oh, it looks like my friend is going down that trail over there. Nice meeting you and thank you for that squash recipe.

Who the squash hasn't seen Finding Nemo?!?!?!?!?!

This is the current Awkward playgroup. 
We are accepting new members. 
Basic Pixar knowledge will be required. 


  1. Yikes......where are all the happy go lucky, fly by the seat of your pants moms these days?????????

    1. If you find 'em, send 'em my way!! :)

  2. When faced with uber natural, militantly organic, perfect moms, you might want to refer them here:

    a garden full of natural, organic poisons (many of which contributed to the sordid history of the middle ages and Renaissance). Organic isn't always a selling point!

    1. HAHAHA! Hey, maybe "organic kills" should be my new catch phrase? :)

  3. Okay. If you love Chris O'Dowd's accent (and who wouldn't) you have to watch "The IT Crowd." Hilariously nerdy! Might be on Netflix.

    Seriously, I thought EVERYONE had seen Finding Nemo. And nametags in a playgroup? Wow!! I have never experienced anything like that. Those Ann Arbor moms are hard core!

    1. Totally hilarious! I love that show. I am also watching this one he wrote and starred in called Moone Boy. He plays the imaginary friend of a 12 year old boy. Hilarious!

      Yes, nametags. And this isn't the first playgroup I have encountered them at. Ann Arbor moms are something else. Of course, I am not sure they would win in a crunch-off with the California moms. :)