Dearest Readers, we here at Awkward Manor are still having the same level of awkwardness, I have just decided to document it with more regularity. I am conquering my deep fears of technology and learning how to best navigate and utilize my ally, Blogger. I am boldly sharing our trials and tribulations with the hope of connecting with you, my lovely Readers. I am tirelessly focused on crossing the Internet divide and reaching my fellow Awkwards to assure you that we all trip sometimes, feel inadequate next to the Perfect Moms, and privately eat chocolate hunched over in the pantry while the children/animals/roommates are busy watching Cars II. Feel no need to admit that last one, I know your secret shame and it is safe with me. It is a new day, Readers! One of consistency, hope, energy, and passion!
Just tell them that there has been nothing good on Wonderwall and the children have taken over Netflix to watch Curious George.
Hmmmm....perhaps you have already met my narrator, Readers. Just as Sherlock has Watson. John Carter has Burroughs. Moby Dick has Ishmael. Most Noir films have that impossibly cool voice over thingie. I am stuck with this weirdly snarky, semi-omniscient fellow who seems to shake his invisible head at most of the happenings around here. For some odd reason, I like to picture our narrator like Uatu the Watcher because he looks kinda smug and superior with his big head and half-closed eyes; you can feel him sighing from here. Plus, he has a kickin' robe.
Other than ol' Uatu there, here are a few other people I want you to meet. You know me:
Awkward Dad still hasn't quite forgiven me for putting a post-call photo of him on Facebook, so you are just gonna have to use your imagination there. He tends to pop up in my dreams looking like this. Or you can picture him as leering Soda Pop Man; we all know that he is into me.
This is Super Preschooler:
The Super Cats make sporadic appearances and they almost always look like this: Their super-powers are limited but very mighty.
You know most of this already, my Faithful Readers. But now, I want to introduce you to some of the Awkward Family allies. There are many Awkward Allies, we are kinda like the X-men in number (pre-House of M, that is.) Really, Readers? Right now? OK. I'll wait. What do you mean, it's too long? Oh...you're right. OK....Scarlet Witch went crazy and now there are less mutants. Unless you follow the Movie-verse....you know what, just forget it....
There are a lot of Awkward Allies. We are so lucky that some of them monitor their own happenings in blog form! Much less awkwardly, I must say. Not one to pull a Karen Page, I have listed them here by their Superhero Aliases:
There you have it, our current allies. Shockingly, they all seem cool with going by their secret identites! Those are listed over there on the right. Our allies are amazing, but we are forever on the hunt for new allies. Our Avengers are always taking new members. Really? Now, Readers, you must have seen the previews for that one. On a side note, does anyone what to watch 3 super kids on May 4th?
Anyway, we always need more friends. Foes, we have enough of. But friends, we like. Especially really cool ones I can mooch off of and steal ideas from, like the ones listed here.
They have the allies. They have a pretty amazing narrator. They have the powers...reportedly. Now, when are they gonna get some costumes? I vote for spandex.