Awkward Mom vs. Mini Battle 4

"Children are the hands by which we take hold of heaven." Yeah, you just let Henry Ward Beecher keep telling you that, Awkward Mom.

Wednesday was not a good day. After a rough outing to my church small group, I made it home to collapse on the couch and watch helplessly as madness descended. Winter does this to children, makes them all a tad stir-crazy. But this took off in a whole other direction. Yes, you guessed it, a Lord of the Flies direction. Not feeling like playing Piggy today, I momentarily left them to their, oh let's be generous, play, and called Awesome Mom. Since she is awesome, she said she would be right over with a pot pie, so at least I won't have to make dinner in my current helpless state.

Awesome Mom shows up and says, "What? This isn't that bad." Super Preschooler and Super Toddler pop out of the bedroom like a pair of wraiths bent on proving her wrong.

Super Toddler: Ms Awesome, Ms Awesome, come, come!

Super Preschooler: Yes, come take a tour of our factory!

They drag her bodily into the bedroom, where they have thrown all the pillows to the floor. A box of strawberries is placed dead center in the middle of the bed, on the quilt that I adore. They grin like 2 mad scientist and then proceed to jump on the bed, bouncing and smashing the strawberries with a wild abandon that I have only ever seen before in the wine making scene in Fantasia.

Super Toddler: Chocolate! I need chocolate!

Super Preschooler: We are pretending to make chocolate covered strawberries, want one?

He digs one out from under his foot and proudly hands it to her. She smiles broadly and gently says, "Oh no, you will need plenty for later. They look delicious though. Save them for your Daddy." No novice mom here. They are delighted and go back to stomping the strawberries in their factory of fear.

We back away slowly and Awesome Mom guides me out of the bedroom. At the front door, she leans in and whispers, "Try to hang in there. I'll be back just as soon as I buy you some rum."

“When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.” Oh Erma, you totally get us. When the supers finished with their bedroom factory, they decided to color. On the couch. With the strawberries. We are off to Ikea for a new couch cover. We are leaning toward red. Catch ya later!

To answer the obvious question, yes, Super Toddler pulled a Pete Townshend immediately after taking this photo.