Awkward Mom vs. the Playdate

Nothing like a 6-year-old to make you question your worth as a mother, housekeeper, cook, and person. 

Let's play everyone's least favorite game; What Will Super Kindergartener's Rude Friend Say Next? Obviously, there are no rules to this game.

1. Wow! Your house is really small.
2. The guest should get to pick first!
3. What's wrong with that cat?
4. I don't like Mac and Cheese.
5. I only like cheese pizza.
6 Can you pick off the sausage? I don't want to touch them.
7. My mom says no candy except after dinner.
8. My mom says no toys at the table.
9. My house is cleaner than yours.
10. My mom says no light sabers or gun toys.
11. Your sister is annoying.
12. Your sister has a lot of dress-up.
13. You can't wear a dress! You are a boy!
14. But boys don't play princesses!
15. Let's play Star Wars instead. I'll be Darth Maul.

Well, clearly I lost that game. How about we play everyone's favorite game instead: How Will Super Kindergartener Respond to his Rude Friend?

1. Not really; wait until you see my room!
2. OK.
3. Super Cat is really really brave and has many adventures. That's way he sleeps a lot now.
4. Oh, I do. You can have something else, if you want.
5. Just give your sausages to Super Toddler, she loves 'em.
6. Sure, give it here.
7. Well, if we are good, we get one after lunch. You should be good.
8. Yeah, that isn't a rule here.
9. OK.
10. That sucks. What are you gonna do if zombies come to your house? (I swear to you he said this; it was awesome.)
11. Sometimes. But sometimes she is fun.
12. Oh, most of that is mine.
13. That's silly. Princesses wear dresses and I am playing princesses.
14. Some boys do. I do. But you don't have to if you don't want to though; that's OK. We can play Star Wars instead, if you want.
15. Sure! I wanna be Luke.

Nothing like your own 5-year-old to remind you that you are doing just fine. 

The boy is inhuman; I don't know how he does it. 

Totally cool, totally at ease, totally himself.
He is 5.
What kind of self-confident giant of social interaction is he going to be at 25?