Monday, July 2, 2012

Awkward Mom vs. Attitude

Well, Duh. Her attitude is awkward. What exactly did you expect?

Sometimes I get down. Sometimes I wish I had more money, tighter abs, higher cheekbones, nicer furniture, or whiter teeth. I battle Want like everyone else. I want prettier clothes. I want central air. I want a gardener. I want to eat delish food that I don't make and that doesn't make me gain weight. I want angel children who never get crabby or need diaper changes. I want a massive comic collection, centered on Marvel, that is beautifully organized, completely bagged and boarded, with most of them signed by Stan Lee. OK. Maybe I don't battle Want like everyone else, but I still battle him. In fact, one might say that Want is in the official Awkward Mom Rogue's Gallery, along with Sloth, Three, and the Public Pool Locker Room. (post coming)

Now, all superheroes know that the best way to battle Want it to ignore him. Oh, he hates that! But since he is everywhere (TV, Facebook, your neighbor's front yard), he is often hard to ignore. Especially for someone like me, who has the attention span of a gnat. I tend to see Want in all his many disguises. He lurks at me from that nice car. He spies on me from that perfectly manicured yard. He waves at me while hanging out with the Bikini Brigade at the pool. And the cocky jerk actually lifts his latté in greeting to me from the cafe at Barnes and Noble....oh, he is not nice. Which I suppose is a requirement if you are going to be a villain.

But then something happens to make me completely and totally immune to Want. At least for a moment. Here it comes (corny alert!):

While putting Super Preschooler in his dress-up Cinderella dress, I notice that it is looking very much like Cinderella's dress. Before the ball.
Me: Hey, Super P. I think you need a new dress.
Super P.: Nah, I like this one.
Me: But it is all ripped up and raggy.
Super P.: I really like it; you can make the rips into bows. See? Isn't that pretty? Don't I look pretty, Mommy? Mommy?Why are you crying, Mommy?

Awkward Mom may have won this battle, but there is a Want War coming. We have been spending time at the pool. The pool where moms with babies wear bikinis, designer sunglasses, and tans. Send her some strength, Readers. She is gonna need it.

Look out Project Runway; Super P. (and his make it work attitude) is coming for you.


  1. Aww! Hug that Super Cinderella for us!

    1. Done! Hand out some hugs to your Supers for us, eh? :)

  2. Awww, that is so CUTE! Super P is one wise princess. :)

  3. Awww, Super P is a dear! I want most of the stuff on your list...Oh, and a maid...But then I often (not always) look at who/what I already have and think to myself,"Man, you are one lucky girl!"

    1. I am totally one lucky girl! But yes, a maid would be awesome. :)