Awkward Mom vs. the Church Photo Shoot

This post is really just a teaser for the real Church Photo Shoot, and, yes, we know, that is totally unfair. But Readers, look at what we are working with here:

I don't even know if you can see that, but it is 6 photos that the Borrowers might have had hanging in their stairwell. Our real photos will arrive in a few weeks; I bought 1 copy of each proof just for your amusement. That is how much I love you guys. But really, it will be worth it; I am planning to send all 6 to AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com.

Just to get you in the mood, I am gonna let you listen in on our conversation in the car, post photo shoot.

Awkward Dad: "I am just saying that she could have let me mop up my face before she took that one. I'm positively glazed here."

Super Preschooler: "You promised us ice cream!"

Me: "That was if you behaved and actually looked at the camera. What is going on here? We look like refugees from Ellis Island."

Super Baby: "Dada. Dada. Dada. Dada."

Awkward Dad: "Where was all that love for me when we were taking pictures? You acted like I was trying to kidnap you!"

Me: "I kinda like this one."

Awkward Dad: "Are you kidding?! I don't end. Why did she put me on the edge like that? You didn't use that one for the directory, did you?"

Me: ...

Super Toddler: "ICE CREAM!!"

Awkward Dad: "You did?!?! I look awful! And huge! People at church are going to think we had more kids but I ate them! Why did you pick that one?"

Me: "Well, it's the only one where I don't look insane."

Awkward Dad: "You don't look insane in this one."

Super Preschooler: "Ice Cream, please!"

Me: "Maybe, just hold on. I totally look insane; I am not even looking at the camera!"

Awkward Dad: "Well, what was wrong with this one?"

Me: "Are you serious? Super P. is holding a football in front of his face! Where did he even get that anyway?"

Awkward Dad: "The photographer seemed to think that it made the picture more interesting."

Me: "As if Super Toddler's face here wasn't doing that already. What is in his mouth?"

Super Toddler: "ICE CREAM!"

Awkward Dad: "Well, I hope you are happy. Everyone is gonna think that I just came from an eating competition and have the meat sweats. Even our current church friends are gonna shun us and you can forget about making any new ones."

Me: "It isn't that bad. You can just tell people that you had a cold and the lights were really hot. But..."

Super Preschooler and Super Toddler: "ICE CREAM!"

Awkward Dad and Me: "IN A MINUTE!"

Super Baby: "Dada. Dada. Dada."

Awkward Dad: "You aren't fooling anybody, Super Traitor. But what?"

Me: "What?"

Awkward Dad: "You said But..."

Super Preschooler: "BUTT!!"

Awkward Dad: "No, I didn't mean that kind. And that kind of talk isn't funny."

Super Toddler: "Funny! Butt!"

Me: "I was just wondering where your glasses were. Why weren't you wearing your glasses?"

Awkward Dad: "They were smeared and I thought they would look weird."

Me: "Well, it might have broken up some of the sheen. You know, just a little."

Awkward Dad: "I HAVE A COLD! You better tell people I have a cold when you go blogging about this, because I know that you are gonna blog about this and not tell people that I am not usually this sweaty because you are gonna think it is funny, so you better make sure they know that I HAVE A COLD!"

Super Preschooler: "I would like some ice cream, Mommy. Please."

Me: "OK, ice cream, it is. And I still don't think it is that bad."

Awkward Dad: "humph. I have a cold."

Oh sure, now they smile.

So, basically, the church photo shoot went down with typical awkwardness. Stay tuned for photos large enough to actually see! Oh, and by the way, Awkward Dad had a cold.

I just thank the good Lord that she waited until we were home to pull this pose.