Awkward Mom vs. Photos

Because Awkward Mom promised to show these to you and she never breaks a promise (unless it was 13 pounds of candy just so that we could leave the store), we present the results of our church photo shoot!

In all it's "glory."

 

Ellis Island.

We all look slightly freaked out and potato faminey; except Awkward Mom, who appears to have found some Xanax on the ship over.

 

Eyes Wide Shut.

We have all the extremes covered here; from Super Preschooler's no eye contact to Awkward Dad's intense staring contest, peppered with Super Toddler's "I didn't do it" glint and Super Baby's silent "Help me, I want to join a normal family."

 

 

Crooked Crowd.

Well, to be fair, the most obvious crooked aspect of this photo was done when Awkward Mom scanned it, but there is a host of crookedness going on here: from direction of gaze, to Super Toddler's hair, to legs all akimbo. And yes, Super Preschooler is pre-jump.

 

 

 

Football Fever. 

Well, Duh. Super P. has a football and the rest of us look like we have fevers. The kind of fevers that give you hallucinations and ideas that you can smile like a beauty pageant contestant.

The photographer was waving a colorful toy over her head to try and get Super Baby to smile, or at least change her expression. That is where Awkward Dad, Awkward Mom, Joe Montana, and the latest Bond Villain are looking. Super Baby is the one staring, with barely restrained contempt, directly at the camera. 

 

 

Compass Chaos.

You know, because we are all looking in 4 different directions. Expect for Super Baby, who continues her long suffering gaze straight ahead....18 years from now, when she can shake the awkward dust of this family from her feet and venture forth to more graceful adventures.

 

 

 

Our official church directory photo.

Selected because Awkward Mom's hair looks good, Super Baby finally changed expressions, Super Preschooler smiled, Super Toddler got his finger out of his mouth, and Awkward Dad was in the bathroom during selection and not there to veto it.
 

(Since Awkward Mom enjoys being married and wishes to remain so, she is obligated to tell you that Awkward Dad had a cold, is not as large as this photo makes him look, needed a haircut, was saying something to the photographer at the time, and really doesn't look anything like this.)

We got a free 8 by 10 of the official church photo just for taking the pictures and Awkward Mom was gonna hang it proudly in the living room until Awkward Dad stole it and put it in the basement. I suppose the laundry room did need some decoration....
Hope you are all enjoying the lovely fall weather, Readers! We are trying to, but we are already stressing about Halloween and trying to figure out what Super Toddler should be.
Suggestions are welcome!  His was "anything with a gun."