Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Awkward Mom vs. Bragging

I have been out of my house all day, so Buzzfeed and I have a lot of catching up to do. This will be short. Well, short for me. 

I have a ton to tell you guys! But that is gonna have to wait. Due to some poor planning on my part, we went from field trip to park playdate and straight into the bath. (both the apple orchard and park had SAND! Can you imagine?! Shudder.) I forgot to defrost what I had planned for dinner and I have a church meeting in a couple hours. Might not sound like a lot to you, but I aim to dress, keep the kids alive, and maybe do about 1 thing a day. I want to pass out. But I have to tell you guys this first.

One wonderful aspect of Super Kindergartener's field trip was the fascinating and mysterious phenomenon that always happens when I drive the car. He forgot I was there. All 4 kids I was driving from his class forgot I was there. I have no idea if they can't see me from the backseat or if they think cars magically drive themselves and I am napping up there, but they all started to behave like no adult was present. I know this because it was the same kind of conversations they have when they are alone in their room. You know, when I eavesdrop outside with a glass pressed against the door.

I secretly (OK, not so secretly) love to peek in on my children when they are not aware of my presence. It lets me know what's working, what isn't working, who they like, who they don't like, what they are like, and what I really need to work on. Now, this is gonna sound totally braggy, and for that I truly apologize, but Super K. is doing just fine. I feel semi-OK bragging about this because I honestly have no idea where he gets his fineness. He is a testament to nature over nurture, because nurture is currently considering serving apple donuts for dinner.

The child is a wonder of diplomatic proportions. Today alone, he calmly and gently broke up fights, encouraged sharing, and volunteered his own toys from the backseat, even though they were sneeringly called "baby toys" upon arrival in the van. He was constantly berated by the cool kid in the class (a child merely considered cool by this 5-year-old set because he has a couple of behavior problems, no filter, and a tendency toward manic shouting), and Super K. never lashed out or caved in. He just calmly and sweetly maintained his identity. I have no idea how he does this:

Cool K.: I love Rock and Roll. It is the only music.
Super K.: I actually prefer Christmas music.
Cool K.: That's so dumb. It isn't Christmas.
Super K.: Yeah. But that is what makes it special.
Cool K.: Whatever. I like Rock and Roll. It's cooler.
Super K.: That's great!
Cool K.: Unlike you! Totally dumb.
Super K.: Everyone likes their own music. That is cool.
Cool K.: I guess.


Cool K.: This car smells! And it is very dirty. Our car isn't dirty. My mom actually cleans it.
Super K.: Yeah, my mom doesn't really have time, but she cleans it sometimes.
Cool K.: Not much. My mom has a special vacuum for our car.
Super K.: Neat. My mom just uses the one at the gas station.
Cool K.: Well, it smells.
Super K.: Yeah. That is because we eat in here. Would you like a Cheez-it?
Cool K.: Oh. Sure!


Cool K: Gimme that toy, Shy K.!
Shy K.: (Hands it over)
Super K.: You should really say please to Shy K.
Cool K.: Whatever.
Super K.: No, it isn't nice to take toys like that. He was playing with it.
Cool K.: (throws it at Shy K.) Here then!
Shy K.: (whispers) Thanks, Super K.
Super K.: Yeah, throwing isn't nice either. Don't you have rules in your house?


Super K.: That's a nice pumpkin you picked out, Cool K.
Cool K.: It is better than yours!
Super K.: Maybe. I kinda like the shape of mine though.
Cool K.: But it isn't as good as mine.
Super K.: OK, but I still like it.
Cool K.: Mine is better!!
Super K.: Yeah. That's OK. I still like mine.  
Cool K.: Fine.

But my favorite was toward the end of the trip.

Cool K.: What's your room like?
Super K.: It is green. And I have a bunk bed that I share with my brother.
Cool K.: I don't share.
Super K.: OK. We have lots of toys and a night-light shaped like a bug.
Cool K.: Don't tell anyone, but I am afraid of the dark.
Super K.: That's not a big deal, so am I. That's why I have a night-light.
Cool K.: I have one too, but it is still too dark.
Super K.: Yeah, I know. It's OK.
Cool K.: Really?
Super K.: Yep. Wanna Cheez-it?
Cool K.: Sure. Your car still smells.
Super K.: Yep.

How does he do this? Where did he learn to do this? And why isn't he running things? I am pretty sure the government would never shut down if Super K. was in charge. I have a feeling nothing would ever shut down and everything would smell like strawberries and taste like rainbows.

That said, I totally don't want him to be president. 
Too much exposure, judgment, and assassination possibilities.

But the true power behind a puppet throne? 
Yeah, that'll work. 


  1. I love this post!!! Go Super K!! He rocks (or should I say, he "christmas-es" That is awesome. I had better make sure I never let Cook K or anyone like him near my truck...it smells like dirt. It's old and we eat in there, too.

  2. I am impressed. I don't think I could hold up to all that.

  3. I love the Christmas music comment. I like Christmas music too - any old time of the year. Super K. is super neat.

  4. Wow, wow, wow!!! Super K is awesome!!! What a diplomat!

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