Monday, October 7, 2013

Awkward Mom vs. Field Trip Eve

It isn't half as fun as Christmas eve....

So, tomorrow is my first outing as a Kindergarten volunteer. I am driving 4 children (including Super Kindergartener) to an apple orchard. I won't get into the fact that I was not thrilled to be talked into (guilted heavily) doing this or the headaches that went along with getting all the paperwork in order to be approved as a school volunteer. (The fingerprinting alone was nightmare inducing; imagine Super Toddler trying to climb onto the fingerprint machine and take a "picture" of her tongue and you about have it.) No, what's done is done and I am looking forward to spending this special bonding time with Super K. and his classmates. But, like with any eve; there are thoughts and worries about the upcoming event that swirl about in one's mind. Including:

1. Do I have enough duct tape to keep the broken glove box closed for the duration of the trip?

2. Did the teacher really say that this place was 40 minutes away? I kinda hope she was kidding because that seems really far and I doubt the other parents will approve my using AC/DC to stay awake at 8:15am for the drive.

3. How much chocolate and/or baked goods should I bring to Amazing Mom for agreeing to watch Super Toddler and Super Preschooler at the unholy hour of 7:45am? And will she be alive and/or sane when I come to get them at noon?

4. Should I vacuum the car? I am leaning towards no. I have not yet met a child who doesn't appreciate floor Cheez-its.

5. Is it OK to feel slightly indignant that, after having viewed my "assignment" and the break-down of volunteer cars email, I now realize why I was guilted into driving? The only other parent from our classroom is only driving her children and the teacher is driving the other 3. It also appears that they segregated the Half-Day Kindergarten children, which they swore up and down to me at the beginning of the year they weren't going to do. Is it too early in the year to develop a "put-upon, poor-me, I-have-to-do-it-all-where-are-the-other-stay-at-home-parents" parent attitude? Probably, but I feel one starting anyway....

6. What am I going to wear? Side-note; I have really got to get some maternity jeans. This leaving the button open or using a hair-tie is getting old. Plus, I am pretty sure that accidentally flashing my lady parts at a group of 5-year-olds violates that form I signed about keeping the children safe from creepers and flashers.

7. Is it going to rain? It is going to suck if it rains.

8. Why did some kid have to start a rumor they were going in a bus? Now Super Kindergartener is mad at me for driving and thus preventing him from riding in a bus that he was never riding in anyway.

9. Is it wrong to not like other kids? What if the kids I get are gross? What if they are mean to Super K.? OK, that is loony. Who would be mean to Super. K.? But what if they are bratty and annoying or take off their seat-belts and go all Lord of the Flies on me? Did she really say the drive was 40 minutes? Wasn't there a closer apple orchard? This is Michigan, for Pete's sake. Surely there are apples closer. I have about 20 in my house alone. They could all come over here, save some gas....

10. Why oh why did I agree to do this?

We know why she agreed to do it; for the awkward stories she can tell you after she gets back! Why do anything really, except for the tales to tell later. Speaking of, catch you later, Readers! 

40 minutes?!


  1. Yikes! 40 minutes is a phenomenally long way away for kindergarteners! On the bright side, they might have a favorite AC/DC tune by the end of the journey. Did you know they make a lullaby AC/DC album? It's all soft, tinkling chimes, and you think "aw, this is really sweet" and then you realize at the chorus that the song is actually "Highway to Hell." Awesome!

    1. I totally need to find this lullaby album; what genius came up with it?!?!?! Totally awesome!

      40 minutes? Not awesome....

  2. I love the one positive aspect of having tales to tell afterwards. I live for the stories.